Day 2

Today I am feeling really numb and I think I am still in shock. There are just so many things running around inside my head.

A friend told me last night that while she knows it still is hard, at least I know. This way I have time to make more memories with her. Like I want to go to Disneyland with her and let her chose what we do. And I want lots of pictures. I have many from the last 27 years, but now I want more.

I am trying to get a hold of my sister so I can be the one to tell her. I don't want her to hear it from anyone else and I don't want my mom worrying over her. I don't know what my sister will do, but she has a right to know.

Every now and then I think about how it's gonna be......I don't know how I am going to handle it. I really don't.

Day 1

Well in all honesty this all started a couple days ago, but today I got the worst news of my life. I thought I would share my journey through this hard time on here.

Today I got the news that my mom has pancreatic cancer and it had already spread to her lympnods. Then we got more devastating news telling us she had less than five years. My mom is only 55 years old. Just last month she told me she wanted me to get her a puppy for her 60th birthday. I just might get it five years early.

She's been my only parent for as long as I've been here, 27 years to be exact. The man who helped create me has already passed, so it's double hard for me. And there is so much that I want to experiance with her. I want to see her hold my babies and I want her to give me away when I get married.

What am I going to do without her?